When I was 21 I went to India, for the purpose of shocking my system out of my self absorbed state and to learn compassion. I was gifted with so much more than that.

I was a living emotional wreck, destroying myself and my relationships, due to the violent relationship I had with my father, and years of anorexia and bulimia. I needed an environment that was so different to what I knew to help shift this.

One of those environments was an Ashram, my mother had been associated with the New Zealand one. Whilst I was there, I processed who I was and where I was heading. In response to this I chose to be initiated. A process I saw as a formal declaration of my commitment to healing and uncovering my true self.

The powerful guru was the person who performed the initiation and he shared some significant gifts with me. Statements he made that would be a reflection of my journey ahead. Something I did not know at the time.

He said whilst you have youth on your side, experience everything you can and lose your dependency on everyone and everything.

He then gave me the scanscript name,  Manikutaananda. I was told this meant jewel at the top of the mountain.

This was to be my personal purpose in this life, to find my jewel within me, which also became part of my role in life, to guide others to discover theirs.

Little did I realize until later in life, when he said experience everything you can, it was not about worldly travel experiences. The journey was about experiences that would provide me with the opportunity to discover where I was conditioned, emotionally traumatised ,where I needed to learn how not to be me, and where I was the true me.

I was raised on a farm, spending most of my time with the one person who loved me unconditionally – my grandfather who was not my biological one.

I was first beaten when I was seven, and this continued into my teens, the only difference was I started fighting back. 

My mother introduced me to astrology, spiritual processes, meditation and the ashram in my teens. 

There were many things I did during my twenties that I felt shame about for many years. I was lost, running away from myself, incredibly lonely, and outrageous.

My father who I only saw once for an hour after I was 18, sent me a letter at 24 threatening some pretty horrific things, that was my tipping point. I had no other choice. I had to start doing the deep and serious work on myself to heal me or else. The ‘or else’ options were… well you can imagine.

I knew I had the answers in myself as to what I needed to do, to discover and become the real and authentic me.

I studied myself, immersed myself in my processing, exploring the different processes I was working with. Whilst also exploring them with others who processed differently to me.

My 30’s was when my professional growth began, but most importantly in 2000 was when I designed the I Make a Difference Model, that provides the complete picture of who we are and who we are not, and the process for how that happens.

I have never been married – yet, but have been engaged for over ten years.

My knowing is strong and I have listened to it for a long time.

I was a very competitive dragonboater, surflifesaver and I paddled outriggers.

I have placed myself in so many situations and been guided to as well, where extreme and unusual things would happen in short spaces of time, because I was ready to have all the parts of me that needed healing, to be triggered, so I could progress on my journey.

There is so much to all of our journeys, but the most beautiful part of mine, besides my partner, my cats, my mum and the incredible people I have come to know, is that I found me, the real me.